By Susan Stewart, Licensed Insurance Agent
When deciding on a topic to write about for this month, I thought about the people I talk to through work. What are their common questions? Common needs? Where do they struggle, and how can we learn from each other?
The answer came. Loneliness. It is one of the most common threads in my daily calls. It’s not gender- or locale-specific. It’s a human condition that we need to address.
In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General called loneliness an epidemic, warning that too many people feel disconnected from their families, friends, and communities. Congress has started paying attention, too, with bills that would encourage research, support local programs, and help bring people together, especially older adults who are more likely to experience social isolation. The idea is simple: When people feel connected, they’re healthier, happier, and our communities are stronger.
Psychology Today defines loneliness as “the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it.”
According to Science Insights, in November of 2023, the WHO declared loneliness as “a public health threat.” Their final report, published in June 2025, states that the physical effects of loneliness are the long-term equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, including increased heart attack and stroke and even dementia. It’s a worldwide epidemic. The report was shocking.
Why are we lonely? What is missing and what do we do about it?
It is my observation and opinion that the loneliness epidemic has grown slowly over the years, with the rise of social media. The necessary isolation of COVID resulted in decreased social interaction that, for many, never returned. Social media was our connection to others. I needed it too. We all did. It became easier to “attend” church online. To order groceries online. To use social media to stay in virtual contact. But it’s not too late to create new rhythms. Generate new patterns of thinking and behavior. Start small:
- Limit your social media use. It seems so simple, but for most it’s become a habit that requires intentional change. How do you feel as you scroll? Notice how people speak to each other. Notice the lack of accountability and respect. Yes, I like animal reels too and sending memes to friends, but do you really need to know what people in your city are complaining about? What did a friend from 7th grade do this weekend? Pay attention to how long you scroll. Set yourself a time limit. A literal timer. When it goes off, you’re done for today. Reconnect with the life that is literally around you.
- Limit messaging and text. My daughter lives 75 minutes away. We text, connect with her little sister in a group messaging chat, sending photos and sharing bits of life. Recently, I drove to her house. For two glorious hours, I looked at her face. I heard her beloved voice. I heard about her continuing education, the puppy… her Life from her own lips. I have tears in my eyes. Do you? Text and messages with dog reels can’t replace those things. My advice? Pick up the phone. Make a call. Get in the car. Make an “appointment” for coffee. Take personal responsibility to connect voice-to-voice or face-to-face with the people you care about.
- Get out of the house. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk. Go to the library. Sit in a park. Nod and say hello. Go back to church. Volunteer your time. Join a club with people of like interests. Ask a cashier how she is today. Next time a neighbor is outside, go say hello. See, hear, touch and even smell things that are real and not virtual. It’s become too easy to be so self-absorbed that we don’t even see the people around us.
I know this is a challenge. It may feel uncomfortable at first. Like going to the gym after years of being a couch potato. Will you accept it? Can you be intentional and take just one small step to connect with the people in your personal life, your church, your neighborhood, and your city? You may make new friends. Deepen existing relationships. Even smiling at another human will lift your spirits! Easing loneliness begins with your own behavior. C’mon, let’s go get a coffee and talk. It’ll be fun.
